Today I posted this in a facebook post and thought about it, and decided to post it on my blog. Its so often that us as mothers grown older and turn around and the kids are grown, and we have put our whole heart into raising them, and we realized that we have-not put in enough thought into what are we going to do with us when they are ready to fly.. After all, it is what we raised them to do. When I had children, it was just something i did cuz everyone else was doing it. I had wanted children all my life, and had planned like everything else I did to give it everything I had to be the best mom I could be. I wanted them to be the best they could be. Even though i had a few shaky , teen years, probably a few more or less than some, I had a pretty good life.. You really have to grow up to realize this.. At the time, of course I had the worse mom Ever, was she perfect No!! Was she a good mom, you bet.. Did she make a lot of mistakes I wanted to avoid when I raised my children, sure, I think everyone should try and improve how they were raised. I was taught to always try and be the best I could be.. That was a problem later on in my life.. I did take it to heart that I had to be perfect.. This is not necessary.. You just have to do the best that you can do. It doesn't have to be perfect. I had to learn, a lot, as I was raising a family.. Their are no perfect Mom's. and If they try, its going to be an uphill climb for someone.. Children are unpredictable, Life is unpredictable and we have to adjust as we go to be parents. Children really don't come with instructions. The sooner parents learn this the better.. Of course this goes with all relationships I had to find out.. I was one of those late getting married people.. 25 to be exact.. I was pretty set in my ways.. So I guess these words are about the average mom and some about me too. Perhaps you were busy being a mom, cab driver, boo boo kisser, referee, janitor, (clean up in the hall someone threw up) coach, seamstress in the middle of the night on last minute costume, that Oh mom I have to be a pilgrim tomorrow and all you had in the house was handkerchiefs, thread, and a few scraps of material and a thought ) or lunch room monitor, or homework/lunch delivery person, chauffeur, being cookie lady and hot chocolate lady meeting you at door when child insisted "but its not cold this morning", but you had seen the weather an Knew a cold front was coming in. Sometime you just have to give them freedom of choice, then be there with something warm when they come in from the cold world. Personal maid, Oh and then you had a full time job as a mom, oh and sometimes a full time job, where they expected you to be at work or they don't want pay you, then you of course if you were blessed your a wife and try to be there for your husband, and if your were as lucky as I was he worked and help with some of these things, after his own obligation of work. Oh then housekeeper, cook, food shopper, person clothe shopper for each child and adult in your home, and in charge of keeping all cloth cleaned and put in the right area so they could all ask where is my ****** then with all the time you have left there is YOU. And for all this, people smile at you when you are at lost and at the end of your rope when they do grow up and go off on their own, and don't know where to turn, and say they say you are ONLY going though empty nest syndrome.. Heck yes,you are!! You put your easy fun life on hold to do the most important job of your life, to form the tiny life into something that can face this intense life to the best of their ability, some of us had to work along full time along with doing this some of us part time and some stayed home, all were champs and did the best we could with what we had to work with.. JOB well done.. Take a breath You did good, maybe not perfect,none of em came with instructions, they all came with different personalities, we just had to adjust to them not the other way around. Sure we might have to some recon.. and apologize for all of our fumble and mistakes Now they have the tools good or bad to do the things that they can pick out the good and the bad of what we taught them. That is the beauty of freedom of choice. They all can follow the crowd,they can remember the things we taught them, we may or may not have been right on all things, we too were learning as we went or they can look around and see,not thats not how I want my life to be. and go in the direction they choose.. . but you can't unspilled milk. Now You are in the first of the line, alone with that Hubby if he hung in there with you.. Smile.. Life is real.. I know I am a bit wordy but it had to be said.. Hugs from Kris